Tuesday, 7 May 2013

Day 7: Are You Afraid?

Day 7 and the challenge is still going strong. Today we're talking about the thing(s) that we are afraid of.

Now, I am afraid of some pretty standard things; spiders, lightening, and all that jazz. But there are some other things that I am very afraid of.

The first is needles. I am absolutely terrified of them. In fact, I think terrified might even be an understatement. I've needed a small filling in my mouth for about two years now and I refuse to have it done because of the needle. I remember going to the dentist, she showed the needle to me, and I had a breakdown. I've not been back. Also, I'm off to Thailand in the Summer, and that means injections. I've got over the first hurdle of booking the appointment (and telling the receptionist how scared I am!), and now it's just under a month away. I try and put it out of my head as much as possible. We'll see how it goes, but I'm not optimistic!

The other fear is not succeeding, at least that's the best way I can think of to put it. I have had plenty of setbacks in my teaching career so far (and i'm only in my second year) and these have led me to feel that my abilities are not what I had originally thought. This means that every time I am at a new school, or have an interview, or someone is watching me, I get incredible nervous. I worry that I will not be able to do the task that is set, that someone will think badly of me. An example of this is that I have just applied for a teaching position at the school I'm currently at, and I'm afraid that my application wont be good enough and that I will not be offered a job. It is something that I shouldn't worry about - Que Sera Sera after all.

That was very deep for 5pm on a Tuesday afternoon! But there it is. Thanks for reading, it really does take a lot for me to write things like this out, as I tend to ignore them as much as I can. I've mentioned my anxiety before and these are the main things that make me feel anxious. However, my anxiety and the effect it has on me is a completely different post!

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